I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
