maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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