wanna go halves on a baby?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
