Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
