I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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