Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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