A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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