You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
