CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do herpes really smell.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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