it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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