He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
