out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You've changed since you got that strap on
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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