just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
