I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
