We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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