grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
