By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
