I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
