As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
