What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
