I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
