Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
