Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
