I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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