I looked at my own cervix.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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