We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You ate ashes out of my bong
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
