So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
