I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
