Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize