If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
