Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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