Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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