if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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