i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?