How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights