do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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