We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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