I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
