Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
its liver damage thursday
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
