we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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