He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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