I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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