in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
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While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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