he told me I talked like a deaf person
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
