He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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