some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
