that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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