So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
