Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
