Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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