I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
