wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
