You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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