Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize