in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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