I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
