If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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