just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
