there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
