I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
