What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the day after is always just damage control
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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