Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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