i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
