Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
