Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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